At our house, once Halloween hits it feels like we are on a great holiday race to the new year. We start with Halloween, then it is Little One's birthday, Thanksgiving, Hockey Boy's birthday, Christmas and finally New Year's Eve which the boys and I celebrate alone because my husband has to work late into the night. You add in all the school events, hockey tournaments, special holiday concerts and Christmas parties and the calendar on my phone is all lit up with color. There are so many fun things and special moments which I love, love, love but for a homebody who likes to stay indoors reading and enjoying quiet afternoons while Little One naps it can be a bit overwhelming with all the busyness.
I normally love all things Christmas and cannot wait to pull out the Christmas decorations and holiday playlists. I am the one cheering when Target brings out the Christmas decor the day after Halloween. But this year, I am not ordering an eggnog latte at Starbucks as often as I normally would. When I turned on the radio and heard the Christmas music start the day after Thanksgiving I turned it off. It felt way too soon. I was still enjoying Thanksgiving. I was still reveling in the fact that Little One is four now. I was, and am not ready, for December.
I love Christmas. But I don't enjoy all the rush. I don't like feeling like I am in a competition for the last Bakugan Dragonoid. I love the cookies and smell of the Christmas tree. But this year I am not willing to traipse all over the tree farm looking for the perfect tree. We just don't have the time anymore. Our schedules are busier each year and more importantly I think, I am figuring out what is really important to my family.
I used to try to create the perfect holiday, straight from the movies. But over the years I am finding that my family likes different traditions. They love watching holiday shows together on the couch in our pjs. Prep and Landing was our favorite last year. They don't enjoy posing for the family Christmas card. And with Facebook it is hard to get motivated to actually take a picture, buy the cards, address them and buy Christmas stamps. I used to love to read everyone's Christmas letters but now I have been updating throughout the year so I am not sure if anyone needs a recap of our 2010.
My boys love driving around and looking at Christmas lights on all the houses. So outside lights and blowups are very important to them. My husband has taken on the task of creating a great outdoor display, making sure to get the lights up early for all the other families out there to enjoy as well as our own. Yesterday as we drove toward our house, Middle Man declared our house "the most beautiful house ever." For my family, the Christmas decor budget is much better spent on the outside. I did buy a Lego Christmas building this year. It will be fun to put together as a family and is more our style than a gingerbread house. Less messy too!
Just writing this, I am getting more in the Christmas spirit. But this year, I am going to focus on what makes Christmas special for our family. I think it is time to start enjoying the eggnog lattes. And cookies. Yummy, yummy cookies. Time to check out every Christmas book at the library to read together. Oh and did I mention the Christmas Mint M&Ms? My absolute favorite. I am hoarding them.
What are your family's favorite Christmas traditions?
Monday, November 29, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
Trying to Help Sometimes Gets You in Trouble
Last week, my husband was packing for a trip. He was out of brown socks and he decided to be helpful. He put some dirty clothes in a basket, went to the laundry room, moved the clean clothes from the dryer to a basket, moved the wet clothes to the dryer and put the dirty clothes in the washer. He started all the machines and brought the basket of clean clothes back to our bedroom. This would have been in incredibly helpful if I wasn't all ready for bed. But I was. I was in my pajamas all ready to climb into bed and now there was a basket of clean clothes that needed to be folded and put away.
I could have ignored the basket and waited for the morning, except there was already a basket of clean sheets waiting to be folded sitting on the chair. And for some reason, in my mind, I cannot have two baskets of clean clothes needing to be folded. It used to be that I could not have any baskets of unfolded clean clothes lying around or I could not sleep but my standards have dropped over the years and the many, many loads of laundry that come with a family of 5. I am lowering my standards all over the house and we are in serious danger of becoming a pig sty. So I could not ignore the fact that there were now, not one, but two baskets of laundry needing to be folded. So I now had to fold the clothes. There was a rule that must be followed. And since I was folding the one basket, I had to fold the other basket as well.
I was a bit annoyed at my husband. How did he not understand that by starting a load of laundry he was creating more work for me in that moment? How insensitive of him to make more work for me because he wanted brown socks? And right before he left on a trip. Not to mention the fact that I had spent a lot of time getting all the laundry done a few days before. I was also really frustrated because by starting the load of laundry he was of course telling me that I was not doing a good job. Right? That was what he was saying by trying to help. If he has to start laundry I must need help. I must be falling behind on my job.
Marriage is full of landmines. We were all set to have a peaceful night. And then my husband started a load of laundry. All because of the brown socks he couldn't find. Poor guy had no idea that his wife would take such a kind gesture and turn it into a judgment of her housekeeping skills. I am sure if he had he would have been happy to wear the grey socks in his drawer.
The grey socks right next to the brown socks which were in his sock drawer the whole time.
I could have ignored the basket and waited for the morning, except there was already a basket of clean sheets waiting to be folded sitting on the chair. And for some reason, in my mind, I cannot have two baskets of clean clothes needing to be folded. It used to be that I could not have any baskets of unfolded clean clothes lying around or I could not sleep but my standards have dropped over the years and the many, many loads of laundry that come with a family of 5. I am lowering my standards all over the house and we are in serious danger of becoming a pig sty. So I could not ignore the fact that there were now, not one, but two baskets of laundry needing to be folded. So I now had to fold the clothes. There was a rule that must be followed. And since I was folding the one basket, I had to fold the other basket as well.
I was a bit annoyed at my husband. How did he not understand that by starting a load of laundry he was creating more work for me in that moment? How insensitive of him to make more work for me because he wanted brown socks? And right before he left on a trip. Not to mention the fact that I had spent a lot of time getting all the laundry done a few days before. I was also really frustrated because by starting the load of laundry he was of course telling me that I was not doing a good job. Right? That was what he was saying by trying to help. If he has to start laundry I must need help. I must be falling behind on my job.
Marriage is full of landmines. We were all set to have a peaceful night. And then my husband started a load of laundry. All because of the brown socks he couldn't find. Poor guy had no idea that his wife would take such a kind gesture and turn it into a judgment of her housekeeping skills. I am sure if he had he would have been happy to wear the grey socks in his drawer.
The grey socks right next to the brown socks which were in his sock drawer the whole time.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
How much?
We have been studying stewardship the last couple of weeks in our women's Bible study at church. What an uncomfortable topic for small groups. We are all so open and wiling to share our struggles and successes in prayer or service but let's not talk about money. But stewardship and giving are such a huge part of how we love and serve God. So we persevered and talked about tithing. We talked about percentages, gross or net giving and whether we have to give it all to the church or can we divide our tithes some for the church and some for other christian ministries. We talked about how we can find money in our budgets and our daily spending that we could give.
I am a big believer in tithing. I have been tithing since I was a child. My parents taught us to give 10% of any money we received to God. This was not really hard when my allowance was $2.00 and my tithe was .20. You can't buy anything with that little money. Even when I started making some money babysitting my tithe from a night was usually less than a dollar. It was not really much of a sacrifice in my mind. But it was good training. Because there came a point when the tithing started to be "real" money in my eyes. My grandfather gave us $100 Christmas checks one year. That was A LOT of money. 10% of a $100 was A LOT of money. But I gave my $10 willingly because it was what I was taught and I am so glad my parents taught me at such a young age the principle of tithing because the checks now are much bigger. And the blessings, the trust in God's provision, the joy of sharing our blessings with others is also so much bigger. We have always tithed and God has always provided. I don't doubt the connection between our trusting God with our tithe and Him blessing us beyond our needs.
I believe in tithing. But my discussions of stewardship and tithing often get caught up in the details which is so sad because God is not found in the details. He is found in our hearts and our obedience to what He is asking of us. This week in our study we read 2 Corinthians 9:6 - 8 which says,
So many people I know were not raised to tithe. They were never taught the joy of giving and trusting God. They have never experienced writing a tithe check that they knew they couldn't afford, only to have another surprise refund or pay increase appear. For so many tithing is big and scary and impossible. How can we give a tenth of our income? Budgets are tight and house payments have to be made. The tenth is the detail. But when we pray, when we seek God's guidance, what does He put on our hearts to give? That is what God is asking of us. He wants us to take the baby steps of trusting Him with our money, trusting Him to take care of our needs. He wants us to be obedient to what He has put on our hearts.
God doesn't need our money. He wants our hearts, our minds, our bodies - all that we are. Our money, while able to do amazing work spreading God's love and word throughout the world, is an extension of our lives. How we give is an extension of our hearts. Is your heart prompting you to give? Are you listening? Is there a baby step you can take this week?
I am a big believer in tithing. I have been tithing since I was a child. My parents taught us to give 10% of any money we received to God. This was not really hard when my allowance was $2.00 and my tithe was .20. You can't buy anything with that little money. Even when I started making some money babysitting my tithe from a night was usually less than a dollar. It was not really much of a sacrifice in my mind. But it was good training. Because there came a point when the tithing started to be "real" money in my eyes. My grandfather gave us $100 Christmas checks one year. That was A LOT of money. 10% of a $100 was A LOT of money. But I gave my $10 willingly because it was what I was taught and I am so glad my parents taught me at such a young age the principle of tithing because the checks now are much bigger. And the blessings, the trust in God's provision, the joy of sharing our blessings with others is also so much bigger. We have always tithed and God has always provided. I don't doubt the connection between our trusting God with our tithe and Him blessing us beyond our needs.
I believe in tithing. But my discussions of stewardship and tithing often get caught up in the details which is so sad because God is not found in the details. He is found in our hearts and our obedience to what He is asking of us. This week in our study we read 2 Corinthians 9:6 - 8 which says,
Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.I was struck by the phrase, "each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give". Paul does not write we should look at our checkbooks or calculate our tenths. He says we should give what we decided in our hearts, not our minds, to give.
So many people I know were not raised to tithe. They were never taught the joy of giving and trusting God. They have never experienced writing a tithe check that they knew they couldn't afford, only to have another surprise refund or pay increase appear. For so many tithing is big and scary and impossible. How can we give a tenth of our income? Budgets are tight and house payments have to be made. The tenth is the detail. But when we pray, when we seek God's guidance, what does He put on our hearts to give? That is what God is asking of us. He wants us to take the baby steps of trusting Him with our money, trusting Him to take care of our needs. He wants us to be obedient to what He has put on our hearts.
God doesn't need our money. He wants our hearts, our minds, our bodies - all that we are. Our money, while able to do amazing work spreading God's love and word throughout the world, is an extension of our lives. How we give is an extension of our hearts. Is your heart prompting you to give? Are you listening? Is there a baby step you can take this week?
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Lies Parents Tell Kids
My kids have taught me a lot of things but one of the most disturbing and yet handy is my improving skill at lying. I know that at the same time that I am teaching my kids to be honest and tell the truth, I am also actively engaged in the art of deception. Here are a few of my favorite lies parents tell kids:
- "If you don't brush your teeth they will fall out." My husband told our boys this when he was little which resulted in Hockey Boy being terrified of going to bed without brushing his teeth. So no matter how late it was or where the toothbrush might be packed, we had to find it and let Hockey Boy brush his teeth. This lie while handy at first came back to bite us in the end, though still to Hockey Boy's benefit I guess.
- "Monsters are not real." My boys loved the movie Monsters, Inc. and they were convinced for years that the monsters only lived at the ride at Disneyland. Now we are telling them monsters don't exist but the truth is the world is full of monsters, evil people who hurt people for no reason. But we keep telling the boys that monsters are fiction because we just don't want them to be scared.
- "Your little brother is going to be bigger than you when he grows up because he eats all his healthy food." We tell this lie to Hockey Boy all the time to try to get him to eat his fruits, vegetables and even pizza. It doesn't really work as much as I would have thought considering how competitive Hockey Boy is. The truth is that Little One will probably be the tallest of the three simply because of his DNA. He was taller on his 3rd birthday than the other two boys were when they turned 4.
- "I'm working!" For some reasons the boys understand the concept that working is important and shouldn't be interrupted. So sometimes when I really want to get something done on the computer, or even when I just want a few more minutes to read blogs or Facebook, I will tell Little One that I am working when really I am just procrastinating a little longer.
- "You won't get hurt." A lie I often tell any one of the boys when they get nervous about doing something new that they deem dangerous. I think when Middle Man broke his arm ice skating I was caught on this one but I now have him convinced that it was a fluke and that he won't break any more bones playing hockey. Hopefully not another lie.
- And my favorite lie, "Yes, Virginia. There is a Santa Claus." I have never actually used those words but we talk about Santa like he is real. My husband and I both mention Santa not liking some boy's behavior or the naughty and nice list over and over again starting right after Halloween. We even have an elf named George who visits our house in December. Each night he magically flies back to the North Pole, reports all he saw to Santa, and returns before dawn the next morning sitting in a different spot than the day before. "I have no idea how he gets to the spot."
- "If you don't brush your teeth they will fall out." My husband told our boys this when he was little which resulted in Hockey Boy being terrified of going to bed without brushing his teeth. So no matter how late it was or where the toothbrush might be packed, we had to find it and let Hockey Boy brush his teeth. This lie while handy at first came back to bite us in the end, though still to Hockey Boy's benefit I guess.
- "Monsters are not real." My boys loved the movie Monsters, Inc. and they were convinced for years that the monsters only lived at the ride at Disneyland. Now we are telling them monsters don't exist but the truth is the world is full of monsters, evil people who hurt people for no reason. But we keep telling the boys that monsters are fiction because we just don't want them to be scared.
- "Your little brother is going to be bigger than you when he grows up because he eats all his healthy food." We tell this lie to Hockey Boy all the time to try to get him to eat his fruits, vegetables and even pizza. It doesn't really work as much as I would have thought considering how competitive Hockey Boy is. The truth is that Little One will probably be the tallest of the three simply because of his DNA. He was taller on his 3rd birthday than the other two boys were when they turned 4.
- "I'm working!" For some reasons the boys understand the concept that working is important and shouldn't be interrupted. So sometimes when I really want to get something done on the computer, or even when I just want a few more minutes to read blogs or Facebook, I will tell Little One that I am working when really I am just procrastinating a little longer.
- "You won't get hurt." A lie I often tell any one of the boys when they get nervous about doing something new that they deem dangerous. I think when Middle Man broke his arm ice skating I was caught on this one but I now have him convinced that it was a fluke and that he won't break any more bones playing hockey. Hopefully not another lie.
- And my favorite lie, "Yes, Virginia. There is a Santa Claus." I have never actually used those words but we talk about Santa like he is real. My husband and I both mention Santa not liking some boy's behavior or the naughty and nice list over and over again starting right after Halloween. We even have an elf named George who visits our house in December. Each night he magically flies back to the North Pole, reports all he saw to Santa, and returns before dawn the next morning sitting in a different spot than the day before. "I have no idea how he gets to the spot."
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