The End Of Another Year

We are coming to the end of another school year. Only four more days left and two of them are minimum days and one of those has me at the school all morning for a kindergarten potluck picnic. This year I remembered that the end of the year is busy and the calendar is filled with end of the year parties and presentations, last times and last days. I remembered but it doesn't make the whirlwind any less exhausting or any less of a hit to my work schedule.

Today I volunteered at my last kindergarten table time. I have finally graduated which means that in just a few days I will no longer have a kindergartner in my home. The boys are growing up. And yet my baby is still my baby. His teacher may say he is ready for first grade, I may be excited about him going to first grade with its full day schedule, but I am not sure my baby's mommy's heart is ready for him to be a real big boy.

But before that we have the cleaning out of the desk which sends papers and projects home to my counter top. We have popsicle Friday and last after school play dates of the year before everyone runs off in different directions for camps and vacations. We have emails being exchanged about teacher placement and paperwork needed for next year.

Soon though it will all end. The back packs will be cleaned out. The lunch boxes will be put away for the summer. The alarm will be turned off and summer will begin.

Endless days with no schedule. Freedom to swim in the morning and read in the afternoon. Time to build an entire lego Dragonvale village on my living room floor. Video games being played with so much enthusiasm and glee that I have to close my door to block out the noisy joy. Evening trips to Baskin Robbins and quiet mornings with a cup of coffee in my pjs while the kids watch another episode of Mythbusters.

And then day 2 of summer will arrive and the countdown to the first day of school will begin.

Ahhh.... I love summer.

Where Were You?

I opened my Bible today and read this:

This is what the LORD says -
  your Redeemer, who formed you in the womb: 

I am the LORD,
who has made all things,
who alone stretched out the heavens,
who spread out the earth by myself...  (Isaiah 44:24)

God ever reminding me that He is God and I am not.

One of my favorite children's songs is by Justin Roberts called "Where Were You." It is taken from Job 38 - 42 when God responds to Job's cries for help. I tried to find a video of Justin singing the song on YouTube but couldn't but you can see a church worship band/choir perform it here.

Where were you, when I laid the earth's foundations and where were you...

I need to be reminded, often, that I wasn't there. I wasn't there when God made all things, when he stretched out the heavens and spread out the earth. I am a creation. I was made by a creator.

There is a design, a plan, a story being told. But I may not have all the details. And I may not ever get all the back story, all the explanations I seek.

I remember when I was studying prayer to teach at Bible study I spent time considering where complaining fit into prayer. I wrote about it here. I shared what I had discovered in the story of Job.

Job, a man so faithful that God allowed Satan to test him, had every reason to complain before God. And he did. Chapter 10 of Job is full of his complaints.
I loathe my life; I will give free utterance to my complaint.
I will speak in the bitterness of my soul...
Does it seem good to you to oppress,
to despise the work of your hands
and favor the designs of the wicked?...
Your hands fashioned and made me;
and now you have destroyed me altogether.
Why did you bring me out of the womb?...

Packer and Nystrom write, "Is this the same Job that God described to Satan as "my servant, ... a blameless and upright man, who fears God and turns away from evil" (Job 1:8). Yes, but this is Job distraught by grief and human pain, goaded to despair by his well meaning friends, speaking his words of complaint to the safest possible source: God."

And then...

Job cried out to God asking for answers. Read Job 38 - 42 when you have a minute. It is powerful stuff. It is God's answer to Job. My favorite part is when God asks, "Where were you when I laid the earth's foundations?" Those four chapters remind me every time I read them that God is God. He is the creator and I am His creation. But it also shows me that God listens to His children's complaints and hears us.
"Those who have read the end of Job's book will know that God did indeed meet with Job as Job had invited him to do. But explanations are lacking even then; God does not need to explain. Still, he responded to Job's complaing - and Job was content." (Packer & Nystrom)

Some days I need to be reminded. I wasn't there. But I'm here now. I am part of the story.

Going to Battle

There is a battle brewing in my town. Actually the battle has been brewing for almost a decade, we are about to enter an all out war. I am angry. I am scared. I am sad. I am hurt.

The causes of the war are muddled from retelling. People point fingers at the other side saying "that thing you did" caused this which is met with a "we did that because you did this" from an earlier offense.

The two sides are trying to mediate. It feels like we are giving too much. They feel like it has taken too long to get what they legally deserve.

But all I can see is that my children's neighborhood public school, the one we love so much that we knew when we were moving back to the Bay Area we could only go back there, the one we worked so hard to find a house in its boundaries, the one we call ours, may not be ours much longer. A charter school in our town may be given our school site. (There are four schools being considered. With promises to build the displaced school a new school with a bond yet to be passed. But the very real possibility will be drastic redistricting and putting the displaced schools into the other school sites, many of which are overcrowded.)

And I could explain the injustice of it all. The fact that we are not an underperforming school. No we are an exceptional school and not just because of our test scores. We have an amazing community of families that come together to volunteer in the classrooms and in special programs, to coach sports teams and girl scouts, to care for the families in need of school supplies, babysitting, or even meals for months when one of our own has a medical crisis. I could talk about feeling bullied by rich parents with endless streams of money to continue lawsuits against our district in the best interest of their own students.

But they could also explain the injustice they have experienced. Their neighborhood school being closed a decade ago. The district not supporting their charter. The years they have been on a temporary site, living in portables. At least I hope they can explain it. I hope they truly believe this taking of a public school is really what is best.

I have a friend there. A dear friend. A sister in Christ. And yet, it is hard for me. We had never talked about it before the draft of the mediated agreement came out earlier this month. We had talked about our kids and our schools and our lives. We had supported each other in their school choice, though we live in the same school boundaries.

But now my friend's choice may take away my kid's school. How do I deal with this?

I am committed to my friendship. But it may be hard at times. And I imagine that if one day we decide to meet up at the neighborhood school, like we often do now so our kids can play, and it no longer being our school but theirs it will sting for a bit. But we will move on. We always do.

I know it is just a building. Oh, but it is so much more.

This is a bigger issue than a building. There are some real moral questions here.

The good of the many or the good of the few? The good of the few matters too but which few.

The law as written or the law as intended?

The law or what is right?

Does money rule the world?

When do we stand up and fight?

It's just a building and at the end of the day all of the students will have a school to call home. They just may not recognize many of their peers. Or they may keep their school but at what cost? What will happen to our town through this?

And what about the Christians, the faith communities? How do we respond? How will my friend and I deal with this? For me community is tantamount. That is why I want to keep my school in tact. It is also why I will not let this fight tear apart my friendship with my dear friend. It is why we will walk through this together even as the war gets uglier.

The kids will learn lessons from the adults as we walk down this road. They will learn something. The question is what?

Five Minute Friday - Perspective

I did it once before and it was harder than I imagined, this five minute Friday thing. I am going to do it again, mostly because I love the word that was chosen this week - perspective.

So here are the rules according to the Gypsy Mama, the host of this link up:

"On Fridays over here a group of people who love to throw caution to the wind and just write gather to share what five minutes buys them. Just five minutes. Unscripted. Unedited. Real."

GO

Perspective. I love this word because it changes my life.

Whenever I get stressed out, I try to remember. I try to look at those around me who would beg to have my little trial because what they are facing is so much harder.

Whenever I wish I had more. Whenever I look around at my tiny two bedroom condo filled with five people, four of which are boys, I remember those wished desperately that they could have a home of their own, a roof over their heads, a safe neighborhood like mine, mortgage payments that do not cause panic each month.

Whenever I am frustrated with my child, with my husband, with my God. I remember being at the funeral of my friend's daughter, taken in an instant from this world. I remember my mentor who got the dreaded phone call that her husband had a heart attack while running and that he would never be coming home. I remember all that God has done for me in my life, all the blessings and all the growth, all the people He gave me to walk with me along the way.

Whenever I am too tired. I think of my friend who has to get a blood transfusion today or my son's friend who is living in isolation after a bone marrow transplant or my friend, the mom of this boy, who has spent countless nights at the hospital struggling to sleep overcome with worry and decisions and beeping noises that disrupt.

Perspective reminds me that life could be better. It could be worse. It reminds me that I am where I am that what I am facing before me is mine to face. And it reminds me that God is walking with me just as he always has.

STOP