Tuesday, June 10, 2014

End of the Year Gauntlet

Life got incredibly busy here in the last couple of weeks. Between hockey tournaments, swim meets, lacrosse games, end of the year school events, end of the year school meetings, end of the year…fill in the blank, life has gotten crazy. It feels like this every year, and every year I forget the gauntlet that the last couple of weeks becomes full of extra events and extra obstacles.

Goodbyes to families moving away, summer plans needing to be organized, all the papers and pencils and random school supplies coming home and piling on every counter available, library books missing, end of the year reviews letting you know you need to be concerned about your kid's future - all of it individually is taxing but together in one or two weeks is overwhelming.

I feel like I am treading water in the deep end and I am not that good a swimmer.

And the worst part is the resentment than can build. All of this activity centered on my kids takes me away from me. And while most of the time I love being home for them, at this time of year, it feels leechy. (That's not a word I know but that is what happens to my brain when I have to keep all these plates spinning.) I just want my time back. My empty days. My margin.

And yet, summer is coming. Days of no plans and no structure that we all dream of now, will soon be exhausting in their time without end quality. When the exploring and adventure taking becomes trying not to scream at the kids whining about having to have fun.  When the kids boredom mimics your own because days can be long and it's really hot outside and we've been creative and done all those things on the picture shared over and over again on Facebook. When the screen time rules go out the door in exchange for some sanity and some peace and quiet.

But maybe, just maybe in the midst of it all, there will be one perfect night of firefly catching and s'more making. One afternoon at the beach with friends, running in the waves and digging the world's biggest hole. One morning with a couch full of boys in pajamas reading books side by side. One night watching the fireworks over the lake at the grandparents house that makes the drive and the mosquito bites worth it.

Maybe, just maybe my kids will actually get to rest and rejuvenate after a long year of new schools, new friends, new sports, new challenges.

Maybe, just maybe…