There are days in my life when I want my mommy. Days when I want to call up my mommy and have her listen to me whine without trying to fix anything. Days when I am just not in a good mood and want someone to make it a little bit better by loving on me. Days when nothing has really gone wrong but I still feel sad. Days when my feelings have been hurt or my kids are not as cute as they can be. Days when I need someone I can trust not to spread the gossip but wants to listen to me vent. Friends are great but there is a safety that comes with your mommy that cannot be replicated.
Today is one of those days. I want my Mommy. For no particular reason except I am feeling a little low and would love someone to tell me how wonderful I am and how much they love me. I want to pick up the phone and call my mommy but not the mom I actually have because that brings a lot of complications and dysfunction that really doesn't make me feel better. I want the mommy I dreamed of as a little girl. I want the mommy who listens without judgment, loves without expectation and cheers without competing.
I see mother and daughter relationships all around me. Some are complicated like my own but some are actually healthy, loving and caring bonds that grow strong and deeper over time. I know daughters who lost their mothers and mothers who lost their daughters. There is no perfect relationship except on Nick at Night reruns. But there is a vast gully of pain and heartache between the healthy ones and the damaged ones.
Today I want my mommy. And it makes me very, very sad that I don't.