Friday, April 20, 2012

A Heavy Heart

There are days when my heart is heavy. Today is one of those days.

I am tired. Both sleepy tired but also mind tired. We have been busy these last few weeks. I have very little time alone and I need alone time, more than most probably. I have not had time to write much. I am not even sure where I last left off on my book. It almost feels like I am not writing a book and yet there are 50,000 words in a document somewhere that I need to return to.

I am also ever aware of my friend sitting in the hospital with her son, Hockey Boy's dear friend. I am sad and scared and hopeful. I am impatient, waiting for updates, waiting for my son's friend to come home and be able to play again. I am selfish because I need this boy to get better for my own son's sake. I am encouraged by the words my friend is writing on Facebook, knowing that God is drawing her close, holding her tight. I am embarrassed that I do not know how to help; how to comfort, what to write, where to show up in their lives.

This morning I heard a song. I immediately wanted to send it off to my friend who came to mind. But then I heard the words deeper in me.

"These bones cry out..."

I don't want to cry out. I don't want to have a heavy heart.

But I do.


And then I sit down to read another chapter in Isaiah, whatever the next chapter may be. And these words stand out
O LORD, be gracious to us;
we long for you
Be our strength every morning,
our salvation in time of distress.  (Is. 33:2)

Yes Lord - be gracious to us.


Here is the song that woke me this morning.

1 comment:

  1. I know how this goes, the aching for time and the feeling of exhaustion and frustration when words feel hard to find due to situations that feel so out of our control. Love you, dear friend. Praying for your friend now.