Monday, February 11, 2013
"If ya can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all."
"If ya can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all." - Thumper in Bambi
It makes sense doesn't it. If you don't have something nice to say, then it is probably a good idea not to say it.
But here's the rub. While I have gained some control over my words, I often err on the side of saying nothing at all, at all. As in I squash the feelings behind the unkind words up and shove them away. I get rid of them, or let them go, or more likely, I put them in a box on a shelf up high. Not because I want to keep them. I don't. And yet, I have boxes upon boxes of things left unsaid on my shelf.
Because while I want to follow Thumper's father's advice and keep my mouth shut when I don't have something nice to say, but what do you do when you are upset? When you have been hurt or are wanting something to change but you know it will only cause pain to talk about it. What do you do when what you have to say may hurt someone, but it is the truth?
I am one to hold my tongue. Too much, maybe. At least when it comes to being angry, or hurt, or frustrated about something someone close to me has done.
And it is probably best for me to walk away when the thoughts in my head just want to shout and swear and point fingers. It is probably best for me to calm down, to think through why I am angry.
But then what?