Friday, August 14, 2009

Status Updates

A few weeks back when my husband was out of town I wrote a status update on Facebook that mentioned my kids were being whiny. I got a few comments from friends that were supportive of my frustration. These comments come to my email account as well as being posted on my Facebook wall. I woke the next morning to an email from Facebook with a "friend's" comment shouting at me. I say shouting because it was in ALL CAPS and she knows better or at least doesn't normally write in all caps. The gist was, "COME ON GUYS....WE ALL HAVE THE BEST KIDS IN THE WORLD....LIFE WITH CHILDREN IS A MUCH BETTER OPTION THAN LIFE WITHOUT....LET'S TRY WRITING ABOUT ALL THE WONDERFUL THINGS THAT HAPPEN DURING OUR DAYS WITH OUR KIDS INSTEAD OF THE NORMAL MISHAPS AND THINGS WE HAVE DIFFICULTY WITH....." Okay that is the actual quote. I should be a bigger person, especially since when I went to check my Facebook page her comment was not there. She had already deleted her words. But I was still pretty annoyed by the comment and all the shouting. Not to mention the fact that we have married couples on both sides that have chosen not to have kids and seem very happy, well rested and happy.

But her comment did make me think. Had my status updates been kid bashing? I went back to check and did find that for the most part I had written some pretty cute things about my kids. I had made sure all my Facebook friends knew my kids were enjoying their first night of sugared cereal for dinner and how cute they were playing Wii Fitness. But I also do write at times both on Facebook and here about the less glorious and more frustrating parts of being a Mom. Because for me both are true. My boys can be noisy, bickering, exhausting monsters at times. But the next moment they are the most amazing little creatures in the world. If you lined up all the 6 year olds in the world and let me choose I would still pick Hockey Boy as mine. And not just because he is my son but because he is a really great kid. The same is true of Middle Man and Little One. Each is so obviously a part of my husband and I and yet so unique and quirky.

So today I was in the gym and I started thinking again about this whole topic. And what I realized is that as a parent, I don't just want to focus on the good in my kids. I spend a lot of energy trying to help my kids grow in their strengths, whether that is taking them to practice, getting them more books at the library or spending time listening to their funny stories. I always want to see the best in my kids but I realize that they are a work in progress. And it is my job to help them grow in their weaknesses as well. I am here to teach them to use their words instead of their fists, to recognize that people need some personal space (especially brothers and Mommies), or how to be a good friend on the playground. If not their mother, who is going to help my kids learn to control their emotions, not in a boys can't cry way, but in a let's not go completely nuclear because the milk literally spilled. And someone needs to help them learn a strong work ethic or they may never leave home. I love my kids but they eventually do have to leave home if for no other reason than they have been taught that in order to get a girl they have to go to college, get a job and own a home.



  1. I could not agree more! Well said once again.

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