Wednesday, January 4, 2012

One Word

My twitter feed has been full this past week with #oneword365 links, posts written across the internet declaring the writer's one word for 2012. I love the idea of holding onto a word for a season, of focusing my attention on one thing, that then impacts the whole of my life. I love the idea. I want to participate. I want to link up. But....

Right now, I can't seem to grasp one word. At least not one word I want to focus on in 2012. Because right now, when I think of one word, when I ponder the idea and ask God for clarity, the only word I hear in my mind is - lost. 

I feel lost right now. Not despair. Not dejected. Not confused or doubting. Just a bit lost. Like I am walking through a new village without a map. I can see visual markers that guide me, a church steeple, a red cross on a hospital sign, but I am not sure where I am going - what my destination is. I am missing the voice of my internal gps that tells me to turn right in 40 feet, the voice that tells me my destination is on the left. 

I am not sure how I got lost. I think it sometimes just happens in life. We drive the same roads every day, take the same path to school drop off and the ice rink, and then one day our usual route is changed but road construction. We find ourselves on a detour, just a few blocks off our usual route, but we are in new territory. And if the signs are not set up exactly right, or we decide we know better and make a different turn to get back on track, we can find ourselves lost. Lost in our own neighborhood, looking around for clues to get back on our previously determined route. 

That's me. I somehow found myself just a few blocks from home but still lost. 

And so I look for the markers to find my way home. 

I ask for direction. I pray. I ask my friends to pray for me. 

I look at my map. I open my Bible. Not sure what I am looking for, I can't decide where to start. Should I read it all over again? Maybe just the gospels? The Psalms? I think about being lost. When was I last lost in the Bible? 

I remember. I was rushing to finish the Bible in one year. I was behind and hurrying to catch up with my friends. I found myself reading through Isaiah and Jeremiah at warp speed. My eyes hitting the words but not really understanding what I was reading. My mind occasionally seeing something that confounded me, but I had no time to stop. No time to decipher its meaning. 

But now that I am lost, maybe it is time to go back to Isaiah. Maybe by trying to understand it, I will find some answers. I order books. I open to Isaiah 1. I read the questions in my group study Bible. My mind goes to work. I check cross references. I remember things I have studied in the past. It is only day 1. I am still not sure what this book is all about. But I now know more about the time and circumstances in which it was written. 

I am still lost but maybe soon I will be found. 


  1. Maybe God is doing a new work within you, just as you see in Isaiah. I knew a few years when I felt lost or rather not settled, it was because was fixing to move in a big way in my life. I just couldn't see it at the time. Blessings.

  2. Hi Jen,

    I really like the word picture you painted...last year, I had no word so I can relate, in fact, I wasn't even looking for a word, so you're ahead of the game...this year, I wasn't looking again, but God gave me a word, OPEN, for this year...came out of pondering Mary and her attitude toward God this past month. Blessings to you...I have only studied Isa 40-55 and loved it. Blessings to you as you study :)

  3. Lost some comments when I transitioned over to disqus today. But thank you to Alene and Dolly for your encouraging words. The one good thing about being lost is that I know I will be found. Jesus chases the one lost sheep. 

  4. Woohoo the comments have been found. 

  5. ...maybe ask Him for one word for this week.  Or, one word for today!  I loved the comment about "open".  Yes, open your hands and ask Him what He has for you today.  This week or even this month.  Maybe the word is "found" for now.  

  6. I am praying for you friend, as you journey on this road where you are not alone.  I know that lost feeling. And I am excited for the anticipation you feel of soon being found. Beautiful place to be (although hard, too).

  7. Thanks Stephanie for the encouragement to pray. The idea of a word for one year is so big. But maybe for today, for this week. I think I am able to write lost because I know that my word is found. Because without knowing what it means to be found I would never know I was lost. 

  8. Open - What a great word. Exciting and scary all at the same time. 
    I started Is. 1 yesterday and there is some great stuff there.

  9. Prayer. What a gift we give our friends. I never really gave it much credence until I felt challenged to study prayer and then was asked to teach on prayer. In my preparations I started to ask my friends to pray for me. I started to reach out more asking for prayer. And I think the prayers of my friends made a huge difference in my life, in my walk with God. It is probably something I have let slip here and may be part of getting lost.