I have been quiet lately. Not just here but in other places in my life. I have been sick. I have been tired. I am a wee bit stressed by the impending move and the weight of home ownership again. But mostly, I have been quiet because I am not ready to share. I'm not even sure I will have anything to share, but right now my mind is bogged down by flickering thoughts and feelings that I am trying to untangle.
Amidst all of this, I have remembered that I am flight. As in, when faced with danger, when facing conflict, my fight or flight response is to fly.
I distract.
I avoid.
I detach.
I shut down.
I cut off.
And the scariest part is that when I do this with relationships, the other person may never know except for that weird awkward feeling they may have that something is off.
In truth, I may not realize how far down the path I am until I look back and realize I am no longer attached emotionally to the other person.
Flight keeps me out of battle. It keeps me from yelling or using hurtful words. But I am beginning to wonder if it does just as much harm.
And so I will choose to fight with the people I love. I will choose to speak, to say what I'm thinking or feeling. I will choose to stay in the room even when my body is itching to walk away.
I will try at least.
Are you fight? Or flight?
Hugs to you Jen.
ReplyDeleteFlight, for sure!
ReplyDeleteGlad I'm not alone.
ReplyDeleteThanks. Weeks like this make me miss our chats over coffee and kids playing.
ReplyDelete