Life has gotten in the way of writing, as has editing, so I thought I would pull a few posts from the archives until I have time to get back to writing here.
This one struck me because there are so many times I want to ask why? I want to know what God has planned. I want to have the plan laid out before me and explained. I want the world to be about me. But the truth is it's not.
This one is from June 2010 but still true today.
A thought had been swirling my brain the last few months, slowly taking a solid form. And it is this, God is God. A very simple equation. God is God. Nothing more, nothing less. As He Himself said, "I AM."
Seems like a simple concept to grasp and yet it has taken me this long to remove myself from the equation. I used to think God is a loving God. God cares for me. God wants what is best for me. God has a plan for my life. All of which are true statements but my definition of God was all tied up with me, me, me. I defined God by how He related to me. I was constantly trying to figure God out, make His seemingly inconsistent actions in the Bible, make sense. I wanted to understand God on my terms. I wanted to understand justice and grace in a way that worked for me, more importantly in a way that was comfortable for me.
But the truth is that God is God. This life, this earth, these 6 billion plus people are His creation. We, by our very creation, belong to Him. And what He decides is best is best, simply because He is God, He is the designer. He created a world that was so perfectly designed that the laws of physics are true. Not the other way around. He is not beholden to the laws of physics. We are His art, His design. We are the products of His hand. We like to think of God as at our disposal, as our comforter and our cheerleaders. And He does do those things as part of our relationship to Him but the truth is we are at His disposal. We were made to glorify Him, to praise Him.
I have recently stopped asking why so much. I spent years sounding like Little One with all my why? why? why? questions. I wanted to understand the world, I wanted to understand God. The truth is I can't. I can gain knowledge and wisdom everyday. I can read His word that tells me who He is. But I will not understand God until I am standing face to face with Him. And even then I may never understand. This used to frustrate me.
I always hated it when my parents answered my why question with the standard, "because I told you so." But as a parent, I know so much more than my kids. Sometimes I want to explain my decision making to them. Sometimes I don't. Maybe because I am tired, or more likely maybe because they would not understand even if I explained it. And sometimes because I am not ready for them to deal with the darkness of this world.
And so now I find peace in knowing that God is God. I don't have to understand it all. I may have to do things out of blind obedience when God's answer to me is 'because I said so."
I know that God is God. And that is enough now.