I have never wanted to write a parenting book because as we all know that’s the kiss of death. Once you claim to be the expert on something, anything, you end up eating your own words. Not to mention, there are so many privacy issues involved. There was a time when you could write about your kids in a book and they would never find out. Their friends wouldn’t read the story of the little boy that wouldn’t potty train until they were all well into adulthood and only if they picked up the parenting book themselves to help them as they parent their own kids. But in today’s world, every word published ends up in a google matrix of some kind and with just a simple click, your entire childhood could be read by your classmates while sitting next to you in class as you are working on your laptops.
And you, my boys, are way to precious to me to expose to that kind of ridicule.
I have written about you. I told cute stories of missing shoes and harder stories of school struggles. I felt okay with it because you didn’t have internet access and I used cute nicknames. But today, you all use laptops in your classrooms and you have access to the internet at home. I can’t imagine you are reading what I write on this blog of mine. I worry that you might find this one day soon. But then I realize that you might want to know me better than I have let you. You may someday want to know who your mom is besides your mom. You might not, and that is okay. But if you do, feel free to read this blog.
With that in mind, I thought it might be good to write down the words I will want to share with you when you have your own kids. If you are anything like your dad and I, you will want to pave your own way. And we really, really do want you to be your own type of parent. If we have learned anything along this parenting journey it is simply this - you are each your own. But I thought someday, you might google what to do when _______. You might want to ask your mom how I handled something without worrying about judgment or my getting upset if you completely disregard my advice. So I am going to write down what I want to share with you. And I am going to post it here on my blog for you to find when you need my words. I could print up letters like they do in the movies or make a video but then I would have to remember where I put them and you would have to find them and most likely they would be lost until the estate sales people clean out all our old papers after your dad and I have both died.
So here is the essence of letter number 1. The very first lesson I want to share with you. I am here for you. However you need me to be. And I am happy to share what I have learned along the way, if you want me to, but I know also that you have to travel your own path, that each of you will manage things your own way. And I am okay with that. All I ask is that you be honest with yourself and be your honest self. You are each your own. You are each so uniquely you. And that is a good thing.