Monday, April 12, 2010

Doing it all?

I want to do it all. I want to make the healthy, homemade dinners. I want to take the training class at church that they want everyone to take. I want to take the boys to the park when the sun comes out and get all the laundry folded. I want to remember birthdays and find the perfect gift that is both thoughtful and tells my friend how special she is to me. I want to work out the right number of times and eat my five servings of vegetables every day. I want to be on the board, plan the event, manage the team. I want to do it all, be it all. And all while being calm, relaxed and focused on what is important.

The problem is I can't. I can't do it all. I may have the best intentions, but no matter how hard I try or how much I want it, I cannot do it all. And that is not because it can't be done because the truth is that there are women out there who do it all. We like to say that no one can but I know women who really do and not in a fake, you don't know what is going on behind closed doors. But genuinely talented, caring, giving, and well organized women who have an abundance of energy, a love of people and a MacGuyver knack of making the craft, cake or fixing the shoe all from their handbag. These are women I admire and am so glad are in this world. I need these women on my sons' PTA. I need these women to organize the church retreat. I need these women to remind me of our friend's birthday and to host the dinner party. These are amazing women. I am just not one of them.

God made each of us unique and special and when He made me, He did not give the massive energy gene. Nor the extrovert gene. No instead I am a person who needs my sleep, needs my alone time, and needs a good book. That is who I am. And I am okay with that. I really do wish I could do it all. But I know my limitations. I know what happens when I push those limits. It is not pretty nor productive. So I am not able to do it all. I'm sorry if I am letting you down, but I figure it is better for me to say no up front, than to fail you later.

But also know that I am faithful to my yeses. I have learned to be thoughtful in how I choose to spend my time so when I say yes I mean yes. I can't do it all so I had better do what I can well. I know who I am. I know more every day where I should be giving my time. What I should be doing with my free time. I know the laundry can wait but the sun won't so get outside while we can. So outside we went. And the laundry is still piled in baskets. Thankfully laundry can always wait for another day.

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