Trusting God isn't for the Weak

We are moving this summer. Moving back to the Bay Area. And I really, really, really want to move back to the same town and in the same school zone as we lived last time. It would be so much easier for all of us to have friends we already know and who already love us as we are. No making first impressions, which I am horrible at. No trying to figure out who I can put down on my emergency contact sheet. No wondering if it is okay for my kid to go to that boy's birthday party because I don't know their parents. It would just be so much easier and I also believe so right. So right to reconnect and build deeper friendships. So right to be authentic and real and invested.

We found the perfect house within a few days of making the decision to move. Right neighborhood. Right number of rooms. Right price which is incredibly helpful when housing is so incredibly expensive down there. So expensive that I don't usually mention how much we used to pay in rent because people make weird choking noises when they hear. We applied for the house, sight unseen, hoping we could all our ducks in a row right away. We waited, trusting that God would work it all out, and we waited. Finally after a week we heard that the owner decided on other renters. My heart dropped a bit at the news. Tears wanted to flow out of my eyes. I thought it was all going to work out perfectly.

But here is the thing, the thing I know from years of experience. Things will work out perfectly in God's time and God's time is usually about 3 seconds before you absolutely need it. Meaning that since we don't want to move until mid-July, the perfect place will not become available until early July.

I could stress about this. I could worry that we won't find a place. And there are moments when I do. But somewhere along the way, I have really come to understand that God is going to work things out in His time, in His way, and for His glory. And it is always GOOD. He has never let me down. I can trust Him, even when I wish He would hurry up a bit.

So when those thoughts pop up and start to take hold, I remind myself that God is good and His plan is perfect. I remind myself that worry will not change anything, well it will make me crankier and less fun to be around, but it won't find me a house any faster. 2 Corinthians 10:5 says, "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." Worry that God will provide goes against my knowledge of God so I will take that worry captive and focus instead on how God has provided in the past and how He will in the future.

And then I pray. I pray for God's guidance. I pray for God's peace. And I pray that God would find my family the perfect place to live, even if it ends up not being in my perfect neighborhood.